Attempt #2

Chicken Nuggets take 2

Today I added one thick slice of frozen Bob’s Red Mill wonderful homemade bread from the end of the loaf.  I put it in the blender and mixed it with the crackers and flour.  They looked, felt and tasted much better this time around.  Next time I will either leave out the crackers or use a different type because they are leaving a nutty aftertaste that little J doesn’t like.  He will take a bite out of each nugget but never finish one.


J’s teacher told me at his IEP meeting a few weeks ago that he was hitting them sometimes when he got upset.  So after that I started asking when he got home, in addition to all the other specific questions I normally ask, “Did you get in any trouble today?”  For the past few days of school he has answered “yes.”  When I ask him what he got in trouble for he tells me hitting.  Sometimes it is only one person and sometimes more.  Today he listed 2 teachers and one student.  Last week when I asked the “why?” question, twice he told me it was because he was trying to take the jump rope away and they wouldn’t let him.  Today he couldn’t tell me.  Also when I ask, “Is hitting a nice thing to do?” he begins with telling me “yes.”  He also tells me this when he gets in trouble for hitting Little J.

While all of this lashing out is concerning to me, the most troubling thing is that in past week I haven’t heard anything from his teachers.  If I wasn’t asking the questions of him, and him not knowing how to lie effectively, I wouldn’t know that this was happening.  His teachers obviously love him very much.  They always have wonderful things to say about him.  On the occasion that I do pick him up from school, they will give me an honest report of the day and/or the day before but should I be hearing about every instance?  Are they giving him too much leeway by not telling me?  Should I just let them handle what happens in school, at school?  I know that they are busy, excessively busy.  Should I be expecting this much communication?  Maybe I should just pick him up from school more often.


On a related note…I take J to a psychiatrist for medications and we will be starting OT this week.  When we go to the Psych, I do most or all of the talking.  It is mostly about medication management.  We haven’t changed anything in a few months, but I thought we were maintaining the status quo, obviously not if he is in trouble daily for hitting and being aggressive at school.  so we may need to change something.  BUT, should he being someone else to “talk” about his anger?  If he doesn’t always understand the “W” questions would this even help?  Thoughts? Ideas?


4 comments on “Attempt #2

  1. I don’t remember how old your son is, but at 3 and 4 years old, hitting was a huge problem for us. From what I’ve read around the blogs, it’s pretty common. We addressed it with a lot of behavioral therapy. If/then, consequences, loss of a privilege. Social stories are also a nice tactic for this. You can probably find something online. I never know the answer to whether something can be effectively handled at school without being addressed at home. We found, when our son was going through this, that we needed to constantly reinforce the message–and we kept it VERY simple: Hitting is not okay. Ever. The end.

    Good luck!

  2. Well, observing in the classroom is always a good idea. When the school is quiet there is usually more going on, from my experience anyway.

    M used to have major major aggression and would hit, kick etc. We chose to put her on an antipsychotic and the behavior stopped. Medications are a personal choice but for us it worked. When we weaned her from them the behaviors came back so we put her back on it.

    Good luck!

  3. When I went to training for homeday care one of the first things they taught us was to not always tell the parents when their child has misbehaved. This is for a couple of different reasons: 1. the behvior has already been delt with 2. when the parent picks up their child they are both happy to have this time tgether..there is no reason unless the offense is really bad to ruin that. A child hates to see the smile drop from their parents face when they come to get them and find out that they had a hard day.
    I would keep doing what you are doing and remind him what behavior is acceptable at school and what isn’t. You are doing a great job with him. He is really a delightful little boy. I am sure that the hitting is not anything serious.

  4. When I taught neurologically impaired kids years ago, we didn’t tell parents every time a child misbehaved unless it was a serious transgression. The reasoning was that the situation had already been dealt with and lots of times, by the end of the day, a child wouldn’t even remember if they had pushed someone at 9 a.m.
    One thing that was never tolerated was a child striking or kicking an adult. That was grounds for in-school suspension and a meeting with the child, the parent(s) and the teacher and school psychologist A second offense merited a three-day at-home suspension and a third offense was grounds for expulsion.

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