Just to be honest…

I am really scared about our upcoming deployment.

Hubby is in MS right now until about May 8th.  As much as we miss him, things are still kinda okay around here because we have an amazing church family and friends in our military mammaz meetup group.

However, when hubby leaves for Korea in June some of my support structure will slowly fade away.  One of my greatest friends’ husband lost his job and they are in the process of interviewing.  He has 4 interviews out of town and one in town.  She has been my rock through all the hard times this year.  She watches Little J often, is easy to talk to, and we can be our real selves together including leaving dishes in the sink and laundry on the couch while we sit and visit.  I overheard our mutual friend and my friend talking the other day and both husbands are ready to move on from Tucson.  While I still have other friends at church, none of the others are in the same stage of life as me.

In the military mammaz, one of my two closest friends left for Alaska in January after her husband had been in Korea for a year.  My other friend is moving to North Carolina early this fall after her hubby gets back from Iraq this summer.  My other good friend is moving to Italy in the fall as well when her hubby gets back.  There are like 30 other members in the group and yet I have not connected with them the same way I have with these 3 moms.  Many of those 30 moms are fairly new to the group, so there is still time.  However, part of it is my fault.  I am reluctant to take J to events that have “too many” people in a house instead of a park.  I am hesitant to take him to events where the majority of the kids are aged 2 and under.  This leaves very few events that he can attend and that I can be confident in taking him to.  The solution would be to host at our house, but so far we haven’t been good at picking times because the events either get cancelled or the only participants are our current friends that are moving.  Don’t get me wrong, there are people I talk to, and even some I connect with, but no one I can lean on.

This is the first place we have lived that we aren’t the ones moving before everyone else.  I fought for us to stay here after hubby gets back from Korea, but I’m not sure what will be left.  I just pray that God brings some very special people into our lives as these ones leave.  Not just for me, but for my kids as well.  The moms that I hang out with the most are also the same ones who have kids that mine get along with.  They didn’t always get along and it took quite a bit of training for my kids and theirs to learn acceptance and how to navigate differences and personalities.  But they have come so far in a short time.  I am nervous about all of us being isolated with hubby gone and no one left for all of us.


One comment on “Just to be honest…

  1. Aww honey I am sorry. I can’t imagine living with so much change all the time. As much as I complain about always having lived in Texas, it is easier. I pray God sends you someone amazing that needs you to be their rock.

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