So today I had a realtor show me a rental house and then offer me free advice. He told me I should stay in my rental until the bank tells me to leave. I talked it over with my landlady and she is agreeable to this. Just waiting to hear back from my husband to see if he agrees.
There is always the possibility that the house could sell right away at the first auction in December, but it seems like a slim chance now. There is a better chance that we could stay in this house rent free, indefinitely.
I am still researching AZ tenants law because I have been getting some conflicting advice regarding evictions, but one thing I found for sure is that we are not required to move before the sale. If I have to move after the first of the year, at least I’ll have my sister in law here to help me. In the meantime, we can be saving the rent money for the “what ifs.”
I have chronic Iritis which causes the muscle in my left eye to become inflamed and then my vision gets blurry. White blood cells rush to the rescue and put spots in my vision. I can get it under control with steroid drops and atropine drops and it will lay dormant for months. But when I am under extreme stress , my immune system lowers and the inflammation attacks.
I had a flare up last month (when my dad was having a stint placed, my van was trying to die/kill me, and J’s sitter was thinking of going back to work outside of the home) and have been treating it ever since. My eye doctor also happens to be my next door neighbor and very good friend. With the new stress this month of J’s erratic behavior, having to move, and hubby not returning for the holidays we are both worried about keeping my eye under control.
So on Thursday I went over for some tea time with her and we followed it up with Emergen-C drinks. Then I went out of town for the weekend. Mom and dad’s church was having a weekend seminar and since they hold their services at the school where my mom is the computer lab instructor we let the kids play computers during the sessions. They got some downtime with no worries and so did I. I spent the weekend with great people, hearing some great ideas, getting lots of hugs and eating way too much comfort food. I also bought my own Emergen-C packets and some orange juice and chugged them all weekend. And as a bonus, I got to take a nap before driving home this evening. I am trying to stay calm, stress free, and keep my immune system in check.
J did have a few more crazy outbursts like last weekend but this time I didn’t have to deal with it on my own. Mom helped when I needed to get in the shower to rinse out the hair dye (our hair dresser comes to the house to give us all cuts and colors mine.) Dad took the boys for a walk when they didn’t want to stay at the dinner we went to Saturday night. The house was in the same neighborhood so they walked home and watched a movie and everyone was back to happy when I got there. So glad it is the holiday season. That means we will be with them more often and that means more hands and hearts to help me out.
my brain is tired from a long day. I don’t know what to put here except that I am perplexed by J’s recent meltdowns and outburst.
Our landlady let me know today that the bank is not working with her to modify her mortgage any longer and she will have to let the house go to foreclosure. J took the news of moving very badly. He keeps saying, “I hate moving.” I don’t blame him. Since he was born, this is the 7th house we have rented or owned and that doesn’t include the extended stays with my parents between moves or the weeks spent in temporary living facilities on bases.
Little J can’t figure out the time line and when we left the neighbor’s house tonight, I told him we needed to go home and eat and go to bed and he said “What about going to our new house.” Well since we haven’t even been able to go to see any rentals yet, we don’t have a new house.
J is going to be a wreck come the 1st of the year, I may be too. New house, new teacher (his is moving in December), and Aunt M (my youngest sister in law) is coming to live with us in January. She will be a help but even good change is still change.
I noticed in my blog stats that people were looking for Marla Baltes. I too was looking for her because my feed reader showed new posts but when I tried to open them it said the blog was gone.
Then I remembered I had her email. So I dropped her a note to check and see how things were and she let me know that she has moved her blog but didn’t know how to get the word out to everyone. If you weren’t aware of the move, here is her new home : http://www.onallthatisdazlious.blogspot.com
If you have her old link in your blog roll please change it to the new one. Go and say hi even if you’ve never read her blog before. I assure you that you will fall in love with Marla and Maize and now Emma, Sally, Mimi and Chris too.
I am really scared about our upcoming deployment.
Hubby is in MS right now until about May 8th. As much as we miss him, things are still kinda okay around here because we have an amazing church family and friends in our military mammaz meetup group.
However, when hubby leaves for Korea in June some of my support structure will slowly fade away. One of my greatest friends’ husband lost his job and they are in the process of interviewing. He has 4 interviews out of town and one in town. She has been my rock through all the hard times this year. She watches Little J often, is easy to talk to, and we can be our real selves together including leaving dishes in the sink and laundry on the couch while we sit and visit. I overheard our mutual friend and my friend talking the other day and both husbands are ready to move on from Tucson. While I still have other friends at church, none of the others are in the same stage of life as me.
In the military mammaz, one of my two closest friends left for Alaska in January after her husband had been in Korea for a year. My other friend is moving to North Carolina early this fall after her hubby gets back from Iraq this summer. My other good friend is moving to Italy in the fall as well when her hubby gets back. There are like 30 other members in the group and yet I have not connected with them the same way I have with these 3 moms. Many of those 30 moms are fairly new to the group, so there is still time. However, part of it is my fault. I am reluctant to take J to events that have “too many” people in a house instead of a park. I am hesitant to take him to events where the majority of the kids are aged 2 and under. This leaves very few events that he can attend and that I can be confident in taking him to. The solution would be to host at our house, but so far we haven’t been good at picking times because the events either get cancelled or the only participants are our current friends that are moving. Don’t get me wrong, there are people I talk to, and even some I connect with, but no one I can lean on.
This is the first place we have lived that we aren’t the ones moving before everyone else. I fought for us to stay here after hubby gets back from Korea, but I’m not sure what will be left. I just pray that God brings some very special people into our lives as these ones leave. Not just for me, but for my kids as well. The moms that I hang out with the most are also the same ones who have kids that mine get along with. They didn’t always get along and it took quite a bit of training for my kids and theirs to learn acceptance and how to navigate differences and personalities. But they have come so far in a short time. I am nervous about all of us being isolated with hubby gone and no one left for all of us.
My non-stop chatter box who can’t stop taunting his brother has been alternately quiet and croaky since Monday Morning. He had surgery to remove his large tonsils and adenoids. He is on the mend, but it is slow going and up and down. He has moments of quiet play and even more moments of fitful sleeping on the couch. I’ve offered him any number of soft foods (pudding, applesauce, Popsicles, ice cream) and yet he has other things in mind.
drifting off snuggling his donut twist
He keeps wanting donuts today but will take a bite and then hold it in his mouth for 10-20 minutes. I eventually have to talk him into spitting it out or letting me scoop it out. And still he wants to try it again. He also was convinced that he needed to eat a hamburger tonight. He took a teeny tiny bite and then said he was done. Well almost time for another dose of pain meds around here. After he drifts off I will get about 3-3.5 hours before he is waking me up. He woke me up this morning with a small mewling sound and slapping my chest. nice huh?
Oh and we have pretty much moved into our new house thanks to some great friends who helped with the furniture on Saturday. Of course the gas company man discovered that the heater on the pool needs to be fixed so it will be a little longer before I get my inaugural dip. Hopefully it will be fixed tomorrow. I am itching to swim a few laps. All the convince moving food has weighed me down. Back to crockpot cooking tomorrow! Random, I know.
We are moving into a new rental.
Did I tell you hubby is going to Mississippi late FEB through early May for training? Did I also forget to mention that he is going to go to Korea without us in June? Not by choice. However, due to this forced assignment he got to choose to keep our family here in Tucson longer. He turned down a Germany assignment, which I know was hard for him. Also because of his orders, we have the luxury of getting out of our lease early.
The way the market is (sucky) we can afford more house and upgrades for just a bit more (and sometimes less) than what we are paying for in a smaller house. The amenity we chose? A POOL! I am beyond excited. It will be good for our whole family. It will wear the boys out and help keep J in sync. It will give me an outlet for exercise that I don’t have to leave the house or pay childcare for. I already have plans to host some water aerobics sessions with some mom friends come spring. The pool has an awesome heater and with us still having days in the 70s in January, I am confident that I can afford to heat it in March. Oh and it has spa features too, a large bench, jets, and heat for the whole pool. WAHOO! We get the keys in a week. The clincher was the landlord saying they pay for the pool maintenance and have someone that comes once a week. AWESOME!
And we didn’t sign the lease until we got the approval from J’s principal for open enrollment. We are moving just outside the school’s boundaries. I have to reapply for next year but it shouldn’t be a problem.
Now for the purging and packing process to begin.
We’ve been to multiple houses over the past week. We’ve had our hopes up about 3. 2 didn’t work out. One of those was a nightmare but it is finally over.
We are moving into a house that is not only in our desired school district but also our #1 choice for elementary school attendance. This districtworks hard at full inclusion, which at a glance is terrifying to me, but most kids with IEPs have para-pros and it is only 1/2 day kindergarten vs. full day of our current district. So far every parent of a special needs child in that district has given rave reviews. Oh and a bonus for us…It is a year round calendar so he gets out on the 20th of May and will go back the middle of July. He’ll have several 2-3 week breaks through out the school year to make up for the loss of summer. This will be good because an entire summer of no school just may set us back to a time before there was school. That was a really dark place and I don’t care to revisit it.
Past the district issues, the new house has a relaxing backyard with established landscaping and beautiful fragrant flowers. A gardener I am not, but I am very appreciative of a low care yet beautiful yard. And when I am done relaxing in my yard, I can soak in my oval soaking tub w/ jets. I might even let ya’ll come visit me 😉 The house is by no means as large as the other 2 we were looking at but it is in a more convenient location and has a good feel to it.
Time to dig out First Experiences and review Moving House. Yes review, J has been through 3 moves since we got the book. One of those, like this one, was across town, so everything but the house stayed the same. Keeping as much normalcy as possible is very important. We always get the living room, kitchen and the boys’ bedroom unpacked on Day 1 so that they can go to sleep peacefully. We’ve also learned to say goodbye to the old house and every room in the old house. When we moved across town a couple years ago (different state) we didn’t know how important it was until we were trying to go to sleep the 1st night and he kept asking to go back. the next day we went back and let him say goodbye and it was over and he was fine with moving on. Right now I just keep reminding him and Little J about the backyard. It was very distinctive and they loved it, a rock path is their dream come true. 🙂
So if I am scarce this month, I tore myself from the computer to pack.