Just to be honest…

I am really scared about our upcoming deployment.

Hubby is in MS right now until about May 8th.  As much as we miss him, things are still kinda okay around here because we have an amazing church family and friends in our military mammaz meetup group.

However, when hubby leaves for Korea in June some of my support structure will slowly fade away.  One of my greatest friends’ husband lost his job and they are in the process of interviewing.  He has 4 interviews out of town and one in town.  She has been my rock through all the hard times this year.  She watches Little J often, is easy to talk to, and we can be our real selves together including leaving dishes in the sink and laundry on the couch while we sit and visit.  I overheard our mutual friend and my friend talking the other day and both husbands are ready to move on from Tucson.  While I still have other friends at church, none of the others are in the same stage of life as me.

In the military mammaz, one of my two closest friends left for Alaska in January after her husband had been in Korea for a year.  My other friend is moving to North Carolina early this fall after her hubby gets back from Iraq this summer.  My other good friend is moving to Italy in the fall as well when her hubby gets back.  There are like 30 other members in the group and yet I have not connected with them the same way I have with these 3 moms.  Many of those 30 moms are fairly new to the group, so there is still time.  However, part of it is my fault.  I am reluctant to take J to events that have “too many” people in a house instead of a park.  I am hesitant to take him to events where the majority of the kids are aged 2 and under.  This leaves very few events that he can attend and that I can be confident in taking him to.  The solution would be to host at our house, but so far we haven’t been good at picking times because the events either get cancelled or the only participants are our current friends that are moving.  Don’t get me wrong, there are people I talk to, and even some I connect with, but no one I can lean on.

This is the first place we have lived that we aren’t the ones moving before everyone else.  I fought for us to stay here after hubby gets back from Korea, but I’m not sure what will be left.  I just pray that God brings some very special people into our lives as these ones leave.  Not just for me, but for my kids as well.  The moms that I hang out with the most are also the same ones who have kids that mine get along with.  They didn’t always get along and it took quite a bit of training for my kids and theirs to learn acceptance and how to navigate differences and personalities.  But they have come so far in a short time.  I am nervous about all of us being isolated with hubby gone and no one left for all of us.

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All together…

Its weird being a military family. 

I was never “homesick” growing up.  I usually went away somewhere every summer at-least.  It wasn’t until I went on a 6 week mission trip to Honduras the summer between graduation and college that I got homesick.  Being in a foreign country will do that to you.  that and I had plans that fell through while I was there so I felt useless for a few weeks.  AND I was moving from Texas to Michigan to go to college.  Well college began a long line of homesickness.  I got married after my first year and we moved to Idaho, then 4 months later to Guam.  It was crazy because there was a 16 hour difference so due to costs of long distance and never a good time to call, I had to stay in touch via impersonal email.  When we moved to MA a year later we got cell phones and it was great to be able to call my mom more often.  Especially when we had J and I became a Stay at home mom.  My younger sister moved in with us for about 6 months at one point (before I was even preggers) and I kind of liked it.  I liked having family around for the 1st time in 3 years.  Then she moved away for a year and came back again.  Then moved away again. 

When we moved to NV we were away from everyone again.  My parents managed to come out for both Christmas’s we lived there.  Then after 25 years my dad left TX and took a job in AZ 2 years ago this June.  We got pretty excited.  they were only 5 hours away.  We could see each-other on Holiday weekends.  Then that August Hubby got orders to go to an 8 month school in Mississippi and on to an undisclosed base.  After being in school a few weeks we found out that we were headed to Tucson.  This is only 75 minutes from my parents.  We couldn’t believe our fortune.  Our kids would get to know their grandparents.  We would get to have family around, not to mention the free babysitters 😉

While we were in MS, my sister was in Missouri.  She found a guy and they got married last January.  We all met in TX for the wedding as it was sort of equal distance from all of us.  We thought we would see her again this past Christmas at my parents but it just didn’t work out.  She had a baby in September and all sorts of other things happened.  Anyway, it was kind of up in the air as to when we would ever see each other again.  Each of our hubbies gets limited vacation time and it has to be spent visiting certain people.

So She came out last weekend with the baby to my parents’ house unexpectedly.  Now this weekend her hubby is coming.  His job situation sucked in MO and so did the family situation.  So they are MOVING to AZ!!!  I really never thought that my whole family would be close to us again.  When I married hubby I thought that my parents would be in TX for the rest of forever.  There weren’t any possible bases near them.  We love my parents so much that my hubby would buy the house next door to them if it wasn’t an over an hour commute to work.  I love my sister.  My 6 month old niece is adorable and Little J has started bonding with her. 

So after almost 9 years of marriage, we are all together.  It was fun before with my cousin and her family that live just north of my parents, its even better having my sister here to share it all with us.  I know most military families are not so blessed.  We will have to move away from them eventually, but for now I’m going to enjoy it.

🙂  Smiling ear to ear now.